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It’s not personal. Really, it’s not.

I was twittering with an online friend who I think is genius and so creative that I’m not worthy of being in the same room with her. With all that talent, she admitted that she takes things too personally, that’s why she isn’t good at sales.

She hit the nail on the head! Most of us who aren’t good at selling take it very personally when a prospect decides to go a “different direction” or simply doesn’t want to buy our services/products. Rejection can be very personal when you are in that frame of mind.

Understandably, when you pour your heart and soul into your invitation designs and then to have those designs be rejected by the client, it doesn’t feel good. Many of our businesses in the wedding/event industry is so personal. Hello? A wedding IS a personal event. Many of us ARE the face of our business and for a prospect to reject our proposal it appears they are not acknowledging our efforts and that can be taken the wrong way.

It’s hard to detach yourself; but if you are responsible for selling your services/products, then it is a MUST that you do so. Sales consults are the beginning of a business transaction, plain and simple.

To put in prospective, just think about the mental checklists you go through when you are going to make a major purchase. Many of us will shop around for price points and then will finally base our decisions on a quantified list of criteria. Wedding couples are the same. Sure, some buying decisions are based on emotion. But many are based on price, quality, quantity and finally, the good feeling they get when they sign on the dotted line.

When you are selling, you must have a thick skin. Don’t let the “no” get to you. It’s just time to move on to the next prospect! I simply move their proposals into a folder in my database that is labeled, “Their Loss”. And that is really my attitude.

Bring ‘on the next prospect!

Happy Planning


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5 Responses to “It’s not personal. Really, it’s not.”

  1. I really needed this today. I got a “we are going in another direction” yesterday and although I knew that that it wasn’t personal, it still hurt.
    Thanks for the pick me up!

  2. Saundra,

    I LOVE the “Their Loss” folder/attitude! It is pretty hard not to feel
    disappointed when a prospect client decides to “go another direction” but you learn to just move on… NEXT!

    Great post.

  3. Michelle Loretta says:

    Such a great post, Saundra!!! I always try to remind myself that it has to be a match for both of us. If it’s not a 2-sided balanced match, problems of incompatibility will surface down the road. And that results in frustration from both sides. It’s sorta like dating. 🙂 Sometimes the client is better matched with another vendor… And that’s OK!

  4. I totally agree with you Saundra. You just can’t take these things seriously. However,as a mediator, I have a slightly different approach to hearing no.

    For me, no signals that we don’t have a meeting of the minds and I should ask more questions to see if we can get a better ‘fit’. I might say, ‘I understand you’re going in a different direction, what would you need to work with me?’

    It re-opens the discussion and gives me more information about what other new clients may want. Just saying…

    Love your site so much I couldn’t resist sharing it on my blog.
    Thanks!

  5. Thank you so much for this post. I take ‘rejections’ really personally, even though I try not to, and end up over-analysing what I could have done differently or if I got something wrong. It’s nice to hear that other planners feel the same! Having said that, I always ask for some feedback as to why they felt I wasn’t suitable, and try to take that forward into the next consultation.


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